Deep Breaths

Breathing had become a hard thing for me. With each breath I felt a twinge of pain. I couldn’t contain myself anymore. The anxiety and fear of what might happen. It was too much for me to take and was affecting me physically, instead of just emotionally.
I needed peace. I needed to feel peaceful and calm. Calm like a gentle breeze swaying through the branches of a willow tree. Calm like the sound of an ocean wave gently crashing on the shore.
Instead, all I could feel was fright and worry. I felt useless and helpless. I felt alone.
I didn’t want to let anyone in or tell them what I was going through. It was too hard to get the words out of my mouth.
Finally, I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I just needed to talk about it. So I did. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. It was as if the more I talked about my problem, the easier it was to deal with. It became easier to breathe. My problem didn’t go away, but it made it easier to cope with.
I can’t hold myself together forever, pretending like everything’s okay. Once I talk about it and admit to what’s going on, then I can move forward. I can’t move forward, if I’m still holding onto yesterdays problems.

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