I’ve played the comparison game before.
I played the game and lost.
What I never knew was that the images that I compared myself to, were not real but rather false.
You see I liked who I was, until people showed me that who I was would never be good enough.
So I took time to improve, and change who I was. Trying to fit the standards of what the world called perfect.
But when I was at my lowest moment, I realized that I could never be good enough. I could never fit the imaginary standards.
The images I compared myself to were not real, and I knew that.
So I decided that I liked who I was, and didn’t want to change for anyone. I remained the same and I was pleased.
But then that same old game conspired against me, and asked to play again.
I indulged with a haughty attitude, thinking that I could not lose twice. I was stronger this time.
But all that meant was that it took twice as long to wear me down and make me feel ashamed of who I am.
The comparison game reminded me that I can’t compare to a girl on a screen.
I can’t compare to a woman enhanced and obscene.
I can’t compare to the imagination of some perverted guy running a dirty magazine.
I don’t look like those woman and in my heart I don’t want to. They’re perverse and disgusting, that’s not what I had always dreamed of being.
But that comparison game doesn’t give up. He tells you things you never wished to be, and makes you feel insecure that you’ll never be the woman of someone’s dreams.
I don’t want to lose to this game again. Hope keeps whispering in, telling me who I am is just who I should be.
But that devilish comparison makes a pretty good argument.
I can’t compete with an image that’s NOT REAL.
I don’t aspire to be an image or icon for sexual pleasure.
I don’t aspire to arouse perverse men with nothing better to do that fool themselves into thinking that these women are real and can satisfy them.
I have news for you men, they’re not real.
All the things you find appealing have been enhanced, injected, and imagined by a perverse man like yourselves looking to make money off of your sickening pleasure.
The comparison game won today.
I hope that one day, I’ll be able to win.
I’m not perfect but at least I’m real.