Missing you

I’m tired of missing you.

It’s all I ever do.

I don’t want to miss you anymore.

It’s exhausting.

I’m overwhelmed but you never seem to feel the pain of goodbye.

I’m tired of missing you.

It hurts too much.

I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder,

It makes my heart ache.

I long for the days when I don’t have to say goodbye.

But it hurts to want those days, when you don’t seem to mind all the goodbyes and lost time.

I’m tired of missing you.

My heart’s too sore.

I am the woman 

I am not the woman who will stand beside you quietly and watch you lead alone.

I am the woman who will stand beside
you and be your support.

I am the woman who will correct you if you have made an unwise decision. 

I am the woman who will voice my opinions. 

I am the woman who will speak out when injustice is being done. 

I am the woman who will encourage you and uplift you. 

I will boast of you. 

But I am the woman who will know you the best. I will know your weakness and still be proud of you. 

I am the woman whose mind won’t be changed. 

I am not the woman who is fickle in her decisions, and who does not know what she wants. 

I am the woman who knows where I am going, and knows what I desire out of life. 

I am the woman who has had many experiences yet has seen very little of the world. 

I am the woman that will lead myself if I have to. 

I am the woman who will not be judged by societal norms or be degraded by people who desire to harm. 

I am the woman who is empowered and capable of standing on my own.

We are a team, you and me. 

Even though we can both do this alone, we are stronger together and that makes us a better team. 

I am your support and you are the beam that strengthens us. 

Comparison Game 

I’ve played the comparison game before.

I played the game and lost. 

What I never knew was that the images that I compared myself to, were not real but rather false. 

You see I liked who I was, until people showed me that who I was would never be good enough. 

So I took time to improve, and change who I was. Trying to fit the standards of what the world called perfect. 

But when I was at my lowest moment, I realized that I could never be good enough. I could never fit the imaginary standards. 

The images I compared myself to were not real, and I knew that. 

So I decided that I liked who I was, and didn’t want to change for anyone. I remained the same and I was pleased. 

But then that same old game conspired against me, and asked to play again. 

I indulged with a haughty attitude, thinking that I could not lose twice. I was stronger this time. 

But all that meant was that it took twice as long to wear me down and make me feel ashamed of who I am. 

The comparison game reminded me that I can’t compare to a girl on a screen. 

I can’t compare to a woman enhanced and obscene. 

I can’t compare to the imagination of some perverted guy running a dirty magazine. 

I don’t look like those woman and in my heart I don’t want to. They’re perverse and disgusting, that’s not what I had always dreamed of being. 

But that comparison game doesn’t give up. He tells you things you never wished to be, and makes you feel insecure that you’ll never be the woman of someone’s dreams. 

I don’t want to lose to this game again. Hope keeps whispering in, telling me who I am is just who I should be. 

But that devilish comparison makes a pretty good argument. 

I can’t compete with an image that’s NOT REAL. 

I don’t aspire to be an image or icon for sexual pleasure. 

I don’t aspire to arouse perverse men with nothing better to do that fool themselves into thinking that these women are real and can satisfy them.  

I have news for you men, they’re not real. 

All the things you find appealing have been enhanced, injected, and imagined by a perverse man like yourselves looking to make money off of your sickening pleasure. 

The comparison game won today. 

I hope that one day, I’ll be able to win. 

I’m not perfect but at least I’m real. 

He Is…

He is loving. 

He is honest.

He is compassionate. 

He is handsome. 

He is kind.

He is smart.

He is wise. 

He is genuine. 

He is sincere. 

He is trustworthy. 

He is my everything. 

He is the love of my life. 

He is worth waiting for.  

He is the greatest man that’s ever lived. 

He is the lover of my soul. 

He is the one whose arms offer safety and protection. 

He is the one who collects my tears on his shirt. 

He is the one who won’t ever leave. 

He is more than I could dream. 

He is full of passion and motivation. 

He is the BEST man, 

And he is mine. 

Action Words. 

When I say I miss you, I mean it. 

When I say I love you, I mean it. 

When I say I trust you, I mean it. 

May my words always be reflected in my actions so that you may see the sincerity of my heart. 

May my words always be reflected in my actions so that you may see the commitment I have made to you. 

May my words always be reflected in my actions so that you may see the intimate moments I have shared with you. 

May my actions always speak louder than my words, but may my words whisper compliments regarding my actions. 

When She…

When she smiles, the sun shines brighter. 

When she sings, the birds stop to listen. 

When she cries, the sky cries with her. 

When she laughs, the world is overwhelmed with joy. 

When she is broken, Time heals her wounds. 

When she feels loved, she has grace to spare. 

When she feels scared, she finds shelter in His arms. 

When He looks at her, He is pleased with the woman she’s become. 

Guarded Heart

I love you.

I gave you my heart. 

Guard it closely. 

Lock it up.

Hide away the key. 

My heart is yours. 

 Don’t drop it. 

It will bruise. 

Don’t let anyone else see it.

They’ll blind it.  

I gave you my heart. 

Guard it with the sword. 

Protect it with all you are. 

Keep it safe. 

Don’t let it run dry. 

It requires care. 

I gave you my heart, because

I love you. 

Desire

I have a secret desire, but I can’t tell you. 

It’s hidden at the bottom of my heart.

I have a secret desire, but it would hurt you. 

So I know I cannot tell. 

I made a list of all my hopes and dreams, and if I told you, you would be hurt because I need someone to meet them. 

I have secret desires that only He knows, and I can only hope He will meet them. 

Reread. 

As I sit, rereading his old letters, my heart skips a beat. 

I remember the moments as if they were yesterday.

The memories as though they just occurred today. 

I can not express the love I have for you. 

Words don’t seem to satisfy the enormity of this love. 

I am overwhelmed with love, so unshakeable and unbreakable that nothing could tear this apart. 

Your words are like wine to my ears.

Without your gracious love in my life, I would not be the person I am today. 

The letters you wrote for my sixteenth birthday, the book you wrote for our one year anniversary, and the quote book you crafted one day just to bless me. 

I cannot express the overwhelming gratuity that I have for you. 

I cannot describe how your love makes me feel all bubbly inside. 

This love covers a multitude of wrongs.

You saw past all my flaws. 

I can’t express what that meant. 

I know that there is no way to repay you because love is not a transaction. 

So, to the best of my abilities, I desire to love and serve you with all that I am.

I cannot express my thanks with my lips, so I hope you can hear my heart.